This is a photo of my moon cactuses, Gymnocalycium mihanovichii . This species is from South America . The colored cap is a mutation which completely lacks chlorophyll, exposing the color pigment that is usually hidden. Because they are unable to photosynthesize, these plants are unable to survive on their own, but because growers see them as something special, these mutant strains get grafted onto another type of cactus called hylocereus . The result you see is the Moon Cactus. Moon cacti are commonly grown as houseplants and are also known as Ruby Ball, Red Cap, Red Hibotan, or Hibotan cacti. People with developmental disabilities are like moon cacti, something that should be seen as beautiful and unique in the world and might need a little help in order to get along. Many people don’t see the beauty that people with disabilities bring to the world, nor do they see why it is necessary to give us the support that we need.
Somewhere and someplace I talked to an editor who was cr1itised my work. Now that I think about it the memory it happened in 1989 or 1990 at a convention. When I showed him a photo I was particularly proud of and he immediately said that that no reputable newspaper would print that picture. This man had known Robert Capa. He was the man in charge of the Life darkroom during the D-day invasion.
He was the one who told the darkroom tech to turn up the temperature of the heater so that the negatives would dry out faster. This caused the film to melt ruining most of the pictures. That is why the images of D-day have a burred look.
So here was a man who had made the worst mistake in photojournalism history who had the audacity to criticize my work and be intolerant of mistakes. Capa risked his life to get those pictures only to have the best ones destroyed forever.
I read a biography about Capa. The young Capa was sent on an assignment at a place on a beach. He tried taking a camera underwater to take a picture and ruined the camera. He had a fun time at the company’s expense yet they still liked him kept him. Yet for some reason I got skinned alive anytime I made a mistake and got fired in a particularly sadistic way. Experts in the field who I talked to were stern with me and unkind.
In the Capa biography, that man who said he was an intimate friend wasn’t even mentioned in the book.
I remember sing the song in grade school. I didn’t understand that it was the list of note. I thought it told a story. “Doe a deer a female deer.” The mother.
“Ray, a drop of golden son.” The mother dear has a child.
“Me amay I combed myself!” The sun gets hurt. I never heard any say that combing they combed themselves when they got hurt and people comb their hair but my young mind was forcing the song to tell a story.
“Fa a long, long way to run.” The young deer has a long way to run to get back home to mother.
“La, a note to follow So.” didn’t make sense so I ignored it.
“Tea a drink of Gimmenbrez.” Whatever gimmenbrez is it is a substance that restores the hurt young deer’s strength so that he”l be able to make the journey that “brings him back to (his mother) Doe.”
After a long wait in line it was my turn. I was one of the last but she took time with everyone and was most gracious.
While buying groceries I saw a poster for a book signing with Madeline Miller. I have read “The Song of Achilles” and loved it. I am now looking forward to reading her new book. I confess that I got interested in reading her books because she is cute.
I went to a conference in nearby Tuscaloosa last weekend. Though there were not many programs of much interest to me It was a chance for me to talk to people and tell my story.
I grew up in
Birmingham, Alabama. I have a cat that sometimes gets in the way of
my typing. I am also a photographer. At 48 years of age, I was
diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, a high functioning form of
autism. Recently I have become a self-advocate.
I graduated from
Huntingdon College in 1981. I studied photography at night classes
held at the University of Alabama in Birmingham. I got an MS degree
in Journalism at Murray State University. Then I worked at newspapers
and publications without much success before I went to Portfolio
Center in Atlanta in 1994 to study Commercial Photography. After one
year I left because I did not like the teachers or their teaching
methods. Not having very much success finding commercial photography
jobs I worked at several retail establishments in Atlanta until I
decided to move back to Birmingham Alabama in 2002. I got a degree in
Web Design in 2007 From Jefferson State Community College and once
again couldn’t find work. I have found a new purpose in life since
my diagnoses. I am a Governor appointee on the Alabama Interagency
Autism Coordinating Council and the Regional Autism Network as well
as volunteering for several activist organizations, all well being a
caregiver for my Mother.
Growing up
autistic I always had a different angle on things. That may be why my
stories are so strange.
Publications:
“The Blossom War,” 18th Wall’s anthology, The Dragon Lord’s
Library.
Robert W. Caldwell Science Fiction Writer 